Bringing James from the hospital to our home was so exciting. We had stayed in amazing institutions, but they were still institutions, lacking the environment needed to create a home. This meant that Ali and I no longer had to leave James every night and drive back to our empty home. James no longer had to be woken up to be poked and prodded with tests, or awakened by the conversations/ screaming babies/ buzzing and beeps of machines going off on timers. He could enter the spaces that we had prepared for him, and he could live the life of a baby with us.
Leaving him each evening at the hospital was not easy. He became more and more aware of us leaving as he got older. He would often cry as we left, which did not make the exit easy for him or us. One morning when we arrived at the NICU we found the nurse at the front desk holding James (the NICU housed about 20 babies that all stayed within their designated areas). She was happy to pass him off to us as we entered. We were told that he had been crying all night and frequently wanted to be held, which became a common occurrence near the last week or two. James knew us well, and he knew he wanted to be with us. And now he finally could. Welcome home James!
The next phase of feeding and sleeping routines began. And boy did this phase throw us through the ringer. Feeding was a challenge, reflux and digestive issues made James very colicky for the first three months, and sleep was a figment of our imagination, especially when all he wanted was to be held day and night. He was training us as much as we were training him.